Chase, Berenstein and Murray, Counselors at Law provides collaborative divorce solutions to clients in San Mateo, San Francisco and Santa Clara counties.

Setting Goals for Your Divorce

Going through a divorce is a challenging and emotional journey.  The Collaborative Divorce process has many advantages over other divorce process options.  One of those is that it allows you to establish your goals both for the divorce case and for the future early in the process.

Collaborative Divorce focuses on finding mutually beneficial solutions and minimizing conflict. It involves working with a team of divorce professionals, including mental health professionals (called coaches in this process) who will help you to formulate your goals.  These goals will guide the Collaborative Divorce discussions and serve as a compass for the entire process.

Common Divorce Goals

Nearly every couple going through divorce share some goals that they hope to achieve during the divorce process.  Those often begin with ensuring the well-being and happiness of your children, and shielding them from conflict between the two of you.  You likely also want to foster your children’s ability to have a positive relationship with  each of you.  Another common goal is financial autonomy, which will allow  each of you to make choices and maintain a similar lifestyle after divorce. Additionally, maintaining a good working relationship and friendship with your ex-spouse, to the extent possible, is another common goal.  You may also have individual goals that differ from one another.

Once you have established your goals, they are kept at the forefront of the discussions in the Collaborative process. The professional team helps facilitate conversations that foster achieving your goals, in an effort to ensure that your decisions and agreements align with  your articulated hopes for the divorce.  There may be times when fatigue or frustration starts influencing your decisions and your agreements don’t align with your stated goals.  In those instances, the professional team will check in with you individually to ensure that you are fully informed and aware of potential deviations from your goals and to inquire if your goals have changed.

Successfully achieving your goals during the Collaborative Divorce process can have significant benefits for your post-divorce life. The Collaborative Divorce process tends to be less costly and time-consuming than a litigated divorce, allowing you to have more financial and emotional resources with which to move forward. Additionally, the Collaborative approach minimizes damage to relationships with your ex-spouse, extended family, and mutual friends, providing a more supportive network as you transition into your new life.

By incorporating your collective and individual goals into your discussions and decision-making, you can create a post-divorce life that aligns with your aspirations. Remember, this is your process, and your goals will serve as guideposts for a brighter future ahead.

Contact an Experienced Collaborative Divorce Attorney

Lisa R. Murray is an experienced Collaborative Divorce and Mediation Attorney.  She can help you to determine the goals for your divorce and to work to a settlement that allows you to achieve those goals.

You may call her at 650-642-3897 or contact her for more information.