Life changes, and so do the needs of divorced families which is why post-divorce modifications are common. Whether it’s adjusting custody schedules as kids grow, revisiting support due to income shifts, or updating property agreements, many ex-spouses return to mediation or court to revise their original terms. The good news: with the right approach, these updates don’t have to be contentious and can help agreements evolve alongside life.
Divorce settlements are meant to provide a clear path forward, but life rarely stays the same. Whether it’s a change in custody, support payments, or other agreed-upon obligations, many divorced couples find themselves needing to revisit their original agreements. Here’s a closer look at how often these modifications occur and the typical areas they involve:
- Modifications for Custody and Time sharing
One of the most common areas for post-divorce modifications is child custody and time sharing. Life changes and kids grow. Sometimes a parent needs to move because of a job, or a child’s needs change as they get older. A child might also express discomfort with the current arrangement or have a strained relationship with one parent that needs to be addressed.It is not unusual for parents to go back to court, or ideally to Mediation, to adjust the time share plan. For example, if you divorced when your children were toddlers, your parenting plan probably involves frequent, shorter visits to support your child’s need for consistent contact. But by the time your child is 8 or 9, longer stretches with each parent might make more sense, prompting a review and update of the plan. - Modifying Child and Spousal Support
Another frequent area for post-divorce modifications is financial support. Child support is tied closely to the parents’ incomes. If one parent gets a significant raise, loses a job, or otherwise sees a big shift in income, revisiting the support agreement or order might be warranted.. Since child support is designed to ensure that your child has similar living conditions in the homes of both parents, changes in income often lead to adjustments.Spousal support (alimony) might also be subject to modification, and these requests are common, although they tend to be more emotionally charged. Typically, it is the paying spouse who seeks a change, especially if the supported spouse is expected to become self-supporting over time. If years go by and the supported spouse hasn’t increased their income or returned to work, the paying spouse might ask the court to impute income from them, reducing the amount of support owed. Or, as the spouse paying support gets ready to retire, a support modification might be warranted. - Other Post-Divorce Changes
Modifications can also involve deferred property sales or allocations, or payments that were scheduled in the original divorce agreement. For example, if your settlement required selling a house by a certain date or paying an equalization payment tied to that sale, circumstances may change. You or your ex might return to court (or preferably mediation) to defer the sale further into the future or adjust the payment timeline.
Modifications Without Going to Court
The good news is not every modification has to turn into a court battle. Many couples, especially those who originally used Mediation or Collaborative Divorce, can return to those processes to discuss and agree upon changes. Some mediated and Collaborative Divorce agreements even build in “check-ins” to review custody or support after a few years, especially when children are young or one spouse is reentering the workforce.
These built-in reviews can reduce conflict and ensure that your agreements grow with your family’s needs — keeping everyone on steadier footing for the future.
Lisa R. Murray is an experienced attorney in the Collaborative Divorce and Mediation Processes. She can help you determine your goals in a separation or a divorce.
Ms. Murray has been practicing family law since 1989 and is the owner of Chase, Berenstein and Murray Counselors at Law in Burlingame, CA. She has been recognized by Super Lawyers (https://superlawyers.com), an elite group of the top 5% of top lawyers, for 19 consecutive years.
She can be reached at 650-642-3897 or visit https://chaseberensteinandmurray.com.