How Do I Tell My Abusive Spouse I Want a Divorce?

Telling your spouse that you want a divorce is never easy, but it can be especially difficult if your spouse is abusive. If you are in an abusive relationship, it is important to take steps to protect yourself and your children before you have this conversation. In this blog, we will discuss some tips on how to tell your abusive spouse that you want a divorce.

1. Safety First – If you are in an abusive relationship, it is important to prioritize your and your children’s safety before anything else. If you feel unsafe telling your spouse that you want a divorce in person, consider doing it over the phone or through a letter. You may also want to have a trusted friend or family member present when you have this conversation and consider doing so in a public place.
2. Be Clear and Direct – When telling your abusive spouse that you want a divorce, it is important to be clear and direct. Use “I” statements and explain why you want a divorce. Avoid blaming or criticizing your spouse, as this can escalate the situation. Keep the conversation focused on your decision to end the marriage. If the conversation becomes heated or escalates, calmly tell your spouse that you are ending the conversation and then hang up the phone or leave and go to a safe place.
3. Stay Calm – Even though it can be difficult, it is important to stay calm when having this conversation. If your spouse becomes angry or starts to lash out, try to remain calm and avoid reacting to their behavior. Set clear boundaries and let them know that their behavior is not acceptable. Again, hand up the phone or leave and go to a safe place.
4. Get Support – Divorce can be a difficult and emotional process, especially if you are leaving an abusive spouse. Get support from friends, family, or a therapist. They can provide emotional support and help you navigate the divorce process.
5. Take Legal Action – If you are leaving an abusive spouse, it is important to take legal action to protect yourself. Depending upon your circumstance, it may not be safe for you tell your abusive spouse you want a divorce. Obtaining a restraining order and/or filing for divorce with the help of a lawyer may be the best course of action. A lawyer can help you navigate the legal process and ensure that you and your children are protected.

In conclusion, telling your abusive spouse that you want a divorce is a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. Prioritize your safety, be clear and direct in any communication you have with your spouse about divorce, stay calm, get support, and take legal action to protect yourself. Remember that leaving an abusive relationship can be a difficult and emotional process, but it is important to prioritize your safety and well-being.

For more information about how to maintain your privacy during the divorce process, contact our divorce attorneys at Chase, Berenstein and Murray. You may also call us at 650-642-3897 to schedule a consultation. We handle all aspects of divorce and can help you choose the divorce process that will work best for you.