Chase, Berenstein and Murray, Counselors at Law provides collaborative divorce solutions to clients in San Mateo, San Francisco and Santa Clara counties.

Fear and Anxiety in Divorce

Divorce can take people through a roller coaster of emotions. If you’re going through a divorce, you may feel a sense of relief and happiness at some points, while being fearful and anxious at other points. This is natural because  your life is going to change. Self-care is really important during a divorce. Here are three things you can do to address the fear and anxiety in a divorce.

  • Take Care of Basic Needs

When we become fearful and anxious, it can impact on our day-to-day routines. You may lose your appetite, feel exhausted all the time, or not be able to sleep. Being aware of your basic needs will allow you to notice when you are falling behind in your sleep schedule, when you are neglecting physical activity and fitness, or when your eating habits change. A support system is also a basic need, so make sure that you are reaching out to friends and family members who are supportive of you and understand your needs.

  • Set Boundaries with Those Providing Support

Your friends and family members can be a source of comfort and a sounding board when you need it, but some people will want to fix your problems for you. It is okay to let people who are close to you know what you need and what is not helpful. You might not want someone telling you what to do, say, or think in the moment and when this happens you should have a polite, direct conversation with the person.

Let the person know that you don’t need to them to suggest how to fix a problem, and you just want to be able to talk about it with someone who will listen and understand.  Inform them that if you need their help resolving something, you will let them know what you need and how they can help you. Your attorneys can be a source of support as well, because we have experience helping our clients through- the transitions that occur in our clients’ lives as they end their marriage. Don’t feel that you cannot reach out to your attorney.

  • How to Address Pandemic Anxiety

The Covid-19 pandemic has brought up legitimate fears and anxiety for most people and when you are getting a divorce, this can exacerbate the fear and anxiety you are already feeling. You and your partner could have differences in opinion on issues such as social distancing, vaccines, and/or how to protect your children. It is important to know that there are a lot of unknowns, and you are within your right to have concerns. These conversations can become heated, and it may be more productive to seek the assistance of a mediator to make sure that the conversation remains civil and on point. We advise engaging a professional to help facilitate these difficult conversations.

For help with your divorce call Lisa Murray at Chase, Berenstein and Murray today.