A common misconception is that a divorce will end in anger and bitterness, with the former spouses hoping never to speak to each other again. Although that may happen, it doesn’t have to be that way. Those who divorce with “respect” can move forward with their new lives without animosity. It may not be easy, but it can be done.
What Does It Mean to Divorce with Respect?
Divorce with respect has many meanings. One aspect is to remember that there was a reason the two of you got together initially and then married. You cared about your spouse at one time. During the divorce process, try to treat your spouse with the same respect that you give other people you care about.
If that is too difficult, try to view your spouse like you would a coworker you may not particularly like, but still have to work with. Pay attention to the tone you use when speaking to your spouse or when you are sending emails or texts. Avoid using inflammatory words or a derogatory tone.
If you have children, you will have to interact with each other for the remainder of your lives. It will be much easier for your future and for your children if you can have a productive working relationship with your ex-spouse.
Benefits of Divorcing with Respect
You will find there are many benefits when you divorce with respect. Some of those include:
- You show you have integrity, so you can trust that you will both honor and abide by the agreements you make together.
- The divorce process is more efficient since you won’t have to go to court to resolve your issues, because you can work together through mediation or collaboration to resolve them yourselves.
- You will move through the divorce process more swiftly, instead of lingering in “divorce purgatory” where you have one foot in your divorce and one foot in your future life.
- You maintain self-respect. When the divorce is final, you can look in the mirror and tell yourself, “That was an unpleasant thing to go through, but I did the best I could.”
For help in divorcing with respect, contact us at Chase, Berenstein and Murray, Counselors at Law. We will discuss with you how mediation or collaboration works to help you divorce by avoiding animosity. You can also call us at 650-642-3897.
This article was originally published on Collaborative Divorce California’s website.
